Be Responsible For Your Own Financial Secutiry

by Denis Waitley

There is no job security. You can’t rely on staying with the same company through retirement. Pension plans, when available, are woefully inadequate. Social security benefits won’t come close to covering your living expenses in retirement.

The only way to reach financial security is to plan for it now, regardless of your age. You have to define financial security in your own terms. Have you defined the amount of assets that you need for financial independence?

Financial security is that amount of assets that will give you a specific income, after taxes, to live like you want to, without having to depend on day-to-day employment.

What is that amount for you? I believe it is more than you think. And, I feel that if you define it, you can reach it in ten years or less. Do you have a financial plan and the assistance of a financial planner? You need both. Always retain a financial planner on a fee-for-service basis. Don’t mix financial planning with an investment broker or insurance agent. What are your financial goals and what is your time line? Because I started late in my quest for financial independence, I have a maximum five-year period remaining for capital accumulation.

Action Idea: Wealth is not only based on income, but also on expenditures. Are you spending or investing? Are your purchases goal-achieving or tension-relieving? How do you use credit cards? Use your credit cards for services or purchases that retain their value or that build your business. Don’t use credit cards for vacations and personal entertainment, unless you plan to pay the entire balance in one or two months. Try to pay all your balances in full monthly. In this way, you avoid the ridiculously high interest payments. Realize that paying minimum balances, at high interest rates, means that you are paying two or three times what the original purchase was worth.

Most importantly, save at least 6 to 10 percent of your take-home pay each month, by writing a check into a savings account or mutual fund for that amount, as if it were a utility bill or house payment. The secret of most self-made multi-millionaires is compound interest. If parents saved one dollar each day for their newborn infant, by going without a cup of Starbuck’s coffee, or a Big Mac, or a soft drink for that day, by the time the child reached age forty, he or she would have a million dollars cash. No lottery windfall. No brilliant investment strategy. Just compound interest, which Baron von Rothchild labeled "The Eighth Wonder of the World."

Reproduced with permission from Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine. To subscribe to Denis Waitley's Weekly Ezine, go to www.deniswaitley.com or send an email with Join in the subject to subscribe@deniswaitley.com Copyright © 2005 Denis Waitley International. All rights reserved worldwide.

Denis Waitley is one of the top success coaches in the world. Check out his books on success and winning in life. What you learn in them can be the key to financial security.
Click the link below
Waitley 1

PROTECT YOUR CREDIT CARD FROM THE FRAUD GRINCH
The holiday shopping rush has begun.
Do you know where your credit cards are?
Credit card theft and fraudulent charges cost consumers hundreds of millions of dollars annually.
During this time of year, thieves take advantage of the hustle and bustle, when you have so many things on your mind and so many things are happening at once, to steal your credit cards and credit card numbers.
It can happen in many ways.
People can go through the garbage cans of stores to find credit card receipts. They can rummage through your garbage to find credit card slips. Dishonest store clerks can copy down your card number when you are not looking and either use it themselves or sell it to someone else. Or, you might set your card down on the counter, just for a moment, and a quick-handed thief takes it while you’re distracted.
Also keep in mind that pickpockets are very active during the holiday season.
Don’t let a thief ruin this happy time for you.
Take steps to protect your credit cards:
When you receive a new card in the mail, sign it immediately. If you don’t, someone else can forge your signature if you lose the card.
Don’t carry your cards in your wallet. Instead, keep them in a business card case, in a zippered compartment in a purse or briefcase or a separate pouch. And keep your eyes on that purse, pouch or case!
Keep a record of each card number and expiration date, as well as the phone number and address for the card issuer in a safe place at home.
When making a purchase, watch your card during the entire transaction and take it back quickly.
Void any receipts that are incorrect.
If the store still uses carbons, tell the clerk to give them to you. Tear them up into several small pieces and take them with you. Dump the pieces in several different waste baskets or shred them at home.
Save your receipts to compare with your billing statement.
When you receive your statement, examine it as soon as possible for fraudulent charges.
If there are any fraudulent charges, call and write the card issuer immediately to report them. Many credit card companies have toll-free numbers and 24-hour service.
If feasible, consider making all of your holiday purchases on one card. It will be easier to keep track of what charges you actually made.
If you plan to move, notify your credit card companies in advance so they can send your bills to the correct address.
Don’t lend your card to anyone.
Don’t leave receipts laying around. If someone should break into your house, they will give thieves the information they need to use your credit cards.
Don’t sign a blank receipt. If there are any blank lines above the total, draw a line through them.
Don’t give out your credit card number over the phone unless you initiated the call and it’s to a business that you know is reputable.
If you lose your card or someone uses the number fraudulently, you are not responsible for any charges made on the card after you make the report. By law, you are liable for a maximum of $50 for each card if fraud has been committed.

To learn more about credit cards and improving your credit, visit http://upyourcredit.blogspot.com/

If you own a small business, learn 51 reasons why people buy, written by marketing guru Jay Conrad Levinson.

visit http://smallbusinesswinner.blogspot.com

You may have to copy and past the links.

By Brian Tracy
Excerpt from: Personal Success

Your goal is to organize your life in such a way that you enjoy a good income, a high standard of living, and that you are the master of your economic destiny rather than a victim of changing economic times.
Your goal is to organize your life in such a way that you enjoy a good income, a high standard of living, and that you are the master of your economic destiny rather than a victim of changing economic times.

Contribution is the Key

Your job is an opportunity to contribute a value to your company in excess of your cost. In its simplest terms, your job is as secure as your ability to render value in excess of what it costs to keep you on the payroll. If you want to earn more money at your current job, you have to increase your value, your contribution to the enterprise.

Add Value Every Day

If you want to get a new job, you have to find a way to contribute value to that enterprise. If you want any kind of job security, you must continually work at maintaining and increasing your value in the competitive marketplace.

And here's a key point. Your education, knowledge, skills and experience all are investments in your ability to contribute a value for which you can be paid. But they are like any other investments. They are highly speculative.

Knowledge and Education Are Sunk Costs

Once you have learned a subject or developed a skill, it is a sunk cost. It is time and money spent that you cannot get back. No employer in the marketplace has any obligation to pay you for it, unless he can use your skill to produce a product or service that people are ready to buy, today.

Prepare For Your Next Job

Whatever job you are doing, you should be preparing for your next job. And the key question is always: Where are the customers? Which businesses and industries are growing in this economy, and which ones are declining?

Where is the Future?

I continually meet people who ask me how they can increase their income when their entire industry is shrinking. I tell them that there are jobs with futures and there are jobs without futures, and they need to get into a field that is expanding, not contracting.

Never Be Without A Job

There are three forms of unemployment in America: voluntary, involuntary, and frictional. Voluntary employment exists when a person decides not to work for a certain period of time, or not to accept a particular type of job, hoping that something better will come along. Involuntary unemployment exists when a person is willing and able to work but cannot find a job anywhere. Frictional unemployment is the natural level; this includes the approximately 4 or 5 percent of the working population who are between jobs at any given time.

Three Keys to Lifelong Employment

However, there are always jobs for the creative minority. You never have to be unemployed if you will do one of three things: change the work that you are offering to do, change the place where you are offering to work, or change the amount that you are asking for your services. You should consider one or more of these three strategies whenever you are dissatisfied with your current work situation.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, look around you at your current job and find ways to create added value every day. There's always something more you can do.

Second, identify the kind of work you want to be doing in the future and then make a plan to develop the knowledge and skills you will require to do it well.

Brian Tracy is the most listened to audio author on personal and business success in the world today. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership, sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that people can immediately apply to get better results in every area. For more information, please go to www.BrianTracy.com.

Want more Brian Tracy Advice, Check out these books:

Eat that Frog: 21 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time, by Brian Tracy

The Art of Closing the Sale, by Brian Tracy

THINK LIKE AN ENTREPRENEUR

Do you own a home business or other type of small business? This article will help you to think like an entrepreneur.

If you don’t have a small business or home business, you can learn why you should at least consider starting one.


Entrepreneurial Thinking
By Jonathan R. Aspatore

There has never been a better time to start your own business. Major consolidation continues by large corporations in many industries creating profitable niches for new businesses to fill. The advances being made in technology and the Internet have created entirely new industries for business products and services, which are still relatively untapped. Even companies in the automobile and insurance industries are finding their way to the Web to capitalize on this rapidly growing medium. These developments represent dynamic changes for businesses in every industry and create the perfect chance for you to build a profitable company in your area of interest or expertise.

Entrepreneurial thinking is about recognizing opportunities in the marketplace and understanding how and when to capitalize on them. Becoming an entrepreneur is not necessarily an inherent trait. It takes time to train yourself to use your talents and experience to see opportunities where others do not. Each individual possesses a different perspective on products they would find useful and services they would like to see perform differently. It can often be just as profitable to improve upon an existing business. The advantage here is that you can learn from the mistakes of competing companies while still borrowing the positive aspects of their business for your own. Whether starting a completely new type of business or expanding on current ideas already in the marketplace, the key is learning to use your unique perspective to produce a product or service that provides increased value to potential customers.

No one could ever have imagined the impact the Internet would have on the global economy. New industries have developed in the last few years to support the advanced communications capabilities of this medium. Many of the entrepreneurs that had the foresight and skills to capitalize on these opportunities became millionaires almost overnight. In fact, the Internet is such a dynamic medium that there is still amazing wealth being generated from the creation of new companies, and this trend shows no signs of slowing. The development of dynamic new products and services in any industry naturally creates the need for complimentary types of businesses. By learning to think as an entrepreneur you will position yourself to be ready to capitalize on these opportunities as they develop.

Entrepreneurial thinking is relatively easy to learn. It involves training your mind to look at products and services in a different way and understanding how to improve upon them. How would you change the way a company you are familiar with is currently conducting business? Are there complimentary products or services that you feel would be of value to the same target market? Train yourself to be continuously learning about and evaluating other types of businesses. This is how to create ideas of your own and gain valuable insight into an industry. Project your understanding of a given industry into the future to get an idea for what types of products and services will be desired down the road. The marketplace of every industry is continuously changing, and those that have the foresight, ingenuity, and desire have the potential to capitalize on the opportunities that develop.

Although starting a business is never a sure thing in terms of success and prosperity, entrepreneurial thinking teaches you to capitalize on opportunities in your current job and other areas of your life as well. All of this does not mean that you should quit your job today. However, you should begin trying to lay the seeds for a type of business that interests you. What is it that you enjoy doing or have experience with? What demands are currently not being met in the marketplace? Why are companies not already doing this? The marketplace is full of opportunities and those that choose to take on the challenge give themselves the chance to create a type of wealth, happiness, and security that can be achieved by starting your own business.

Companies such as Yahoo, Amazon.com, and eBay were founded only a few short years ago and have enjoyed enormous success in their industry by generating significant value for their customers. These companies and many others often start in someone’s basement, garage, or dormitory. Being an entrepreneur has nothing to do with age, gender, race or education. Everyone must start somewhere, and those that have the drive and ambition to build their idea into a reality give themselves the chance for unparalleled success.

Starting a business is not something that happens overnight. However, it is probably not as difficult as you might imagine. The Internet has brought a wealth of information to your fingertips, if you know where to look for it. You can access information on almost every topic of interest to an entrepreneur by simply performing a search on any of the search engines. Speak with other individuals who have started their own business. They will provide you with a wealth of insight and possibly some useful contacts.

It is never too soon to begin contemplating starting your own business. This will only encourage your development as an entrepreneur and help open your eyes to opportunities in the marketplace that you never knew existed. The key is to believe in yourself, the idea, and have the desire to make it into a reality.

Jay Conrad Levinson
The Father of Guerrilla Marketing
Author: "Guerrilla Marketing" series of books
Over 14 million sold; now in 42 languages
www.gmarketing.com
www.guerrillamarketingassociation.com



Books for Entrepreneurs:

Making a Living Without a Job by Barbara Winter
Click here
No Day Job

Guerrilla Marketing Online: The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Earning Profits on the Internet by Jan Conrad Levinson
Click here
G Market Online

Guerrilla Marketing by Jay Conrad Levinson
Click here
G Market

Want to learn how to Market your small business or home based business?

Read Seven Steps for Creating Successful Marketing by marketing guru Jay Conrad Levison at
http://smallbusinesswinner.blogspot.com

Learn to Play the Reluctant Seller When You're Negotiating

byRoger Dawson

Imagine for a moment that you own a sailboat, and you're desperate to sell it. It was fun when you first got it, but now you hardly ever use it, and the maintenance and slip fees are eating you alive.

It's early Sunday morning, and you've given up a chance to play golf with your friends because you need to be down at the marina cleaning your boat. You're scrubbing away and cursing your stupidity for ever having bought the boat. Just as you're thinking, "I'm going to give this turkey away to the next person who comes along," you look up and see an expensively dressed man with a young girl on his arm coming down the dock. He's wearing Gucci loafers, white slacks, and a blue Burberry's blazer topped off with a silk cravat. His young girlfriend is wearing high heels, a silk sheath dress, big sunglasses, and huge diamond earrings.

They stop at your boat, and the man says, "That's a fine looking boat. By any chance is it for sale?"
His girl friend snuggles up to him and says, "Oh, let's buy it, poopsy. We'll have so much fun."
You feel your heart start to burst with joy and your mind is singing, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Expressing that sentiment is not going to get you the best price for your boat, is it? How are you going to get the best price? By playing Reluctant Seller. You keep on scrubbing and say, "You're welcome to come aboard, although I hadn't thought of selling the boat."

You give them a tour of the boat and at every step of the way you tell them how much you love the boat and how much fun you have sailing her. Finally you tell them, "I can see how perfect this boat would be for you and how much fun you'd have with it, but I really don't think I could ever bear to part with it. However, just to be fair to you, what is the very best price you would give me?"

Power Negotiators know that this Reluctant Seller technique squeezes the negotiating range before the negotiating even starts. If you've done a good job of building the other person's desire to own the boat, he will have formed a negotiating range in his mind. He may be thinking, "I'd be willing to go to $30,000, $25,000 would be a fair deal and $20,000 would be a bargain." So, his negotiating range is from $20,000 to $30,000. Just by playing Reluctant Seller, you will have moved him up through that range. If you had appeared eager to sell, he may have offered you only $20,000. By playing Reluctant Seller you may move him to the mid-point, or even the high point of his negotiating range, before the negotiations even start.

One of my Power Negotiators is an extremely rich and powerful investor, a man who owns real estate all over town. He probably owns real estate worth $50 million, owes $35 million in loans, and therefore has a net worth of about $15 million. Very successful-what you could justifiably call a heavy hitter. He likes wheeling and dealing.

Like many investors, his strategy is simple: Buy a property at the right price and on the right terms, hold onto it and let it appreciate, then sell at a higher price. Many smaller investors bring him purchase offers for one of his holdings, eager to acquire one of his better-known properties.

That's when this well-seasoned investor knows how to use the Reluctant Buyer Gambit.

He reads the offer quietly, and when he's finished he slides it thoughtfully back across the table, scratches above one ear, saying something like, "I don't know. Of all my properties, I have very special feelings for this one. I was thinking of keeping it and giving it to my daughter for her college graduation present and I really don't think that I would part with it for anything less than the full asking price. You understand; this particular property is worth a great deal to me. But look, it was good of you to bring in an offer for me and in all fairness, so that you won't have wasted your time, what is the very best price that you feel you could give me?"

Many times, I saw him make thousands of dollars in just a few seconds using the Reluctant Seller philosophy.

Power Negotiators always try to edge up the other side's negotiating range before the real negotiating ever begins.

I remember an oceanfront condominium that I bought as an investment. The owner was asking $59,000 for it. It was a hot real estate market at the time and I wasn't sure how eager the owner was to sell or if they had any other offers on it. So, I wrote up three offers, one at $49,000, another at $54,000 and a third at $59,000. I made an appointment to meet with the seller, who had moved out of the condominium in Long Beach and was now living in Pasadena. After talking to her for a while, I determined that she hadn't had any other offers and that she was eager to sell. So I reached into my briefcase, where I had the three offers carefully filed and pulled out the lowest of them.

She accepted it, and when I sold the condominium a few years later, it fetched $129,000. (Be aware that you can do this only with a "For Sale by Owner." If a real estate agent has listed the property, that agent is working for the seller and is obligated to tell the seller if he's aware that the other side would pay more. Another reason why you should always list property with an agent when you're selling.)

So, Power Negotiators always play Reluctant Seller when they're selling. Even before the negotiation starts, it squeezes the other side's negotiating range.

Remember that when people do this kind of thing to you, that it's just a game that they are playing on you. Power Negotiators don't get upset about it. They just learn to play the negotiating game better than the other side.

Key points to remember:

Always play Reluctant Seller.

Playing this Gambit is a great way to squeeze the other side's negotiating range before the negotiation even starts.

The other person will typically give away half his or her negotiating range just because you use this.

Roger Dawson is a professional speaker and the author of two of best selling books on negotiating: Secrets of Power Negotiating and Secrets of Power Negotiating for Salespeople, both published by Career Press. He was inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame in 1991. You can contact him at rogdawson@aol.com. His website address is: http://rdawson.com.

Nap Today, Perform Better Tomorrow.

Copyright (c) 2007 BrainFit For Life

A couple of new reports came out this week addressing sleep in our culture. Everyone knows that they feel a little cranky when they don’t get enough sleep. It’s therefore no surprise that sleep affects your mood. What may be surprising, though, is that scientists know very little about why that’s true.

We understand quite a bit about why sleep disrupts your immune function, your metabolism and your ability to learn and remember things. I have discussed each of these in past articles. But we don’t know much about how sleep regulates mood. An interesting new study published in Current Biology by Michael Walker, sheds some light on this subject.

A loss of reason

A complex brain circuit that involves both higher thinking centers and reactive centers controls your emotions. It’s the higher thinking centers that separate us from other animals. We have the ability (although we don’t always use it) to evaluate our responses thoughtfully, before just reacting impulsively.

In the new study, volunteers were either deprived of a good night’s sleep or allowed to sleep normally. Researchers then looked at both their higher thinking and their reactive brain centers after presenting them with some emotionally negative images to stir their reactions.

They found that specific reactive centers of the brain acted the same whether or not the volunteers had slept well the night before. But certain higher thinking centers responsible for keeping those reaction centers under control, were much less active in the sleep deprived group.

The interpretation of this is that our ‘gut reactions’ are not really that affected by lack of sleep (at least in this situation) but our ability to reason and monitor those reactions is weakened, which can have all kinds of downstream consequences.

Is a longer workday productive?

Why is this important? Other studies show that we are getting far less sleep today than we did a century ago and throughout history. The advent of artificial light has extended the length of our daily ‘productivity’, but many argue that this is actually counter-productive. By not getting optimal sleep, we are decreasing our ability to function efficiently the next day, and actually getting less done.

In fact, another study just released shows exactly that. In this one, researchers, Patricia Murphy and Scott Campbell, showed that napping is actually productive. First of all, midday napping did not cause people to sleep less well at night, as many believe. Second, midday napping improved performance on math, decision-making and reaction-time tests. This increased performance was true after the nap and lasted all the way into the next day, following the nap.

Many of us are so busy that we steal hours from our sleep to attempt to get more done. But science argues that we are not getting more done this way. We are actually reducing our ability to be creative, make decisions, work efficiently and cooperate with other people. Perhaps a little more time invested in our rest could dramatically improve our career and personal relationships.
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Master Brain Fitness techniques for you and your family. Your Brain Fitness holds is the key to unlock your maximum potential. Dr. Simon Evans and Dr. Paul Burghardt at BrainFit For Life put together the right ingredients in right amount to create the recipe for success. Visit http://www.BrainFitForLife.com for FREE Brain Fitness resources.

Automatic Wealth Link

8 Habits of Wealthy People

One of the best books on creating wealth that I’ve read is “Automatic Wealth: the 6 Steps to Financial Independence,” by Michael Masterson. What makes this book so valuable is that Masterson doesn’t tell you how to “get rich quick.” That seldom works. Instead, he shows that building wealth is a process. If you follow the process, wealth will follow.

The book is filled with nuts-and-bolts advice, not theory. As a case in point, Masterson offers 8 habits the wealthy have that help them to not only acquire wealth, but to keep it.

So here goes:

They work hard. About 59 hours per week, on average. The good news is, most have found work they enjoy so it doesn’t seem like work. So I suggest that you find work or start a business that you really like.

They are good at what they do. They have confidence and poise because of their skill. “There is something palpable in the way they hold themselves and the way they speak,” Masterson says.

They have multiple streams of income. It is still critical to develop your core skill first, but once you have done that, look for other ways to bring in income on the side, such as investing, according to Masterson.

They live in (relatively) inexpensive homes. Keep in mind, the bigger the house, with its bigger payments, the more you will pay for taxes, insurance and utilities, as well as more expensive furniture to show off your investment, Masterson warns.

They are moderate in their spending. Don’t’ be a Mike Tyson, the boxer who earned $400 million in 20 years and by 2004 was $38 million in debt, according to Masterson.

They are great at spending less. They buy less expensive cars and eat at home, for example.

They pay themselves first. They developed the habit early on of always putting a predetermined percentage of their income in a savings account.

They count their money. Wealthy people always know where they stand in financial terms.

So there you have it. Eight habits that lead to wealth. This is a very small sampling of the great advice in “Automatic Wealth.”

To read some more excerpts from the book, click here.
Automatic Wealth Link
Or click on the image in the upper left hand corner of this blog.

THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL YOU CAN HAVE

by Danek S. Kaus

The Most Important Success Skill You Can Have -- and How to Get It.

Whether you have a job or own your own business, the most important skill you can have is the ability to sell.

Now before you stop reading in disgust thinking that you don’t want to wear loud sports coats and white shoes, those days are over. The best sales people are highly skilled professionals who make a lot of money solving problems for other people. That’s what modern selling is about. Solving problems.

If you own a business, you understand the need to be able to persuade people to buy your goods or services.

If you work for someone else, consider getting into sales. Why? First, you can probably make more money than in your current position. Second, if the economy turns bad, the last people a company wants to let go are the ones who bring in the money – the sales people.

Even if you still decide that selling is not for you, it’s always helpful to be able to influence people in -- every area of your life. Learning sales and persuasion techniques can help you do that.

With that in mind, I am listing some of the best books and CDs I’ve come across on the subject of sales and persuasion.

"Power Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business,” by David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus

Power Persuasion

“Zig Ziglar’s Secrets of Closing the Sale,” by Zig Ziglar
Zig Ziglar 1

“5 Steps to Successful Selling,” by Zig Ziglar

Zig Ziglar

“Be a Sales Superstar: 21 Great Ways to Sell More, Faster, Easier in Tough Markets,” by Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy


“The Psychology of Selling: The Art of Closing Sales,” by Brian Tracy

Brian Tracy

Beyond Rapport – If You Dare


Many of you may be familiar with the standard rapport techniques, which can help you to create rapport with someone and get them to open up to you and trust you in moments.

These techniques involve matching someone’s body language and tone of voice, as well as matching their preferred mode of thinking (visual, auditory and kinesthetic). If you are not familiar with these rapport techniques, you can read about them and many other powerful persuasion techniques in the book I co-wrote, “Power Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business,” (David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus).

You can link to the Amazon listing here and read the rave reviews on the front and back covers.
Power Persuasion
The Beyond Rapport technique, which we call Power Rapport in the book, is much different. And much, much more powerful.
On several levels this is technique much simpler than other rapport techniques but it's also much more advanced. It works by creating a model that your conscious mind may find reasonable and doable even if it is a bit "out there".

One key to creating rapport is knowing that people like people who are like themselves. And who could be more like someone than themselves?

In this technique you are going to imagine being the other person talking to himself. Here’s how:

1) When you engage in some interaction with another person, imagine that
there is an exact duplicate of him just in front of you facing him.

2) Imagine stepping out of your body and "stepping into" the duplicate and
becoming him. If a third person could participate in this hallucination they
would see the person you're talking to talking to a duplicate of himself!

3) Use all your senses to imagine what it's like as you look through his eyes at himself, hear his own words coming from his mouth and move around in his body.

4) Ask your self several questions as you do this. What does it feel like
to be this gender (if it’s not your own)? How warm is it in this body? What are the
feelings and emotions I'm feeling in this body?

This technique works because it forces your mind to match EVERYTHING in that person’s experience.
When you do this for the first time it can be a bit overwhelming at first. You may even lose sight of your outcome (what you are trying to make happen). Don't worry. Everything you learn here is a skill and with practice you will improve greatly.

WARNING: Be careful who you step into! Would you really want to step into the mind of a paranoid schizophrenic or someone in chronic pain?

So be sure you truly want to create deep rapport before using this technique. If the answer is yes, it can give you some amazing results.

Are you stressed? Gaining Weight? You May Have Adrenal Gland Fatigue

Are the following symptoms familiar to you?
• Tendency to gain weight and unable to loose it, especially around the waist.
• High frequency of getting the flu and other respiratory diseases
• Tendency to tremble when under pressure.
• Reduced sex drive.
• Lightheaded when rising from a laying down position.
• Unable to remember things.
• Lack of energy in the mornings and also in the afternoon between 3 to 5 pm.
• Often feel tired between 9 - 10 pm, but resist going to bed.
• Need coffee or stimulants to get going in the morning.
• Crave for salty, fatty, and high protein food such as meat and cheese.
• Increase symptoms of PMS for women; period are heavy and then stop, or almost stopped on the 4th day, only to start flow again on the 5th or 6th day.
• Pain in the upper back or neck with no apparent reason

If many of these symptoms are familiar to you, you may be experiencing adrenal fatigue. Adrenal fatigue has a broad spectrum yet somewhat non-specific set of symptoms, which makes it easy for doctors to miss.

The adrenal glands are two small glands, located at the top of the kidneys. Their main function is to help the body cope with stress and help it survive.

Each adrenal gland has two compartments. The inner or medulla, modulate the sympathetic nervous system through secretion and regulation of two hormones called epinephrine and nor epinephrine that are responsible for the fight or flight response. The outer adrenal cortex comprises 80 percent of the adrenal gland and is responsible for producing over 50 different types of hormones. One of which is called cortisol. When our cortisol is lowered, our body is unable to deal with stress.

When a person experiences chronic stress, the cortisol level may rise to such a high level that its production reduces as the adrenal becomes exhausted. When this happens, DHEA, a hormone normally produced in the adrenal glands, starts to decrease.

Our adrenals after time cannot keep up with the increased demand for cortisol production. In response, cortisol output is therefore reduced.

Eventually our adrenals become totally exhausted.

But don’t despair. The good news is that adrenal fatigue can be reversed. It takes between six months to two years for the recover process to take place. To start, try these steps:

1. Remove life stressors. Look at what is causing stress in your life and find ways to work with them if not remove them.
2. Sleep. Get plenty of sleep. Try going to bed by at least 10 p.m. before the adrenal glands kick in its ‘second wind’ keeping us up between 11 p.m. and 1 p.m. This is also the time our adrenals work the hardest.
3. Avoid caffeine if possible. Try herbal teas or decaf coffee. Caffeine can interrupt your sleep patterns.
4. Exercise. Exercise reduces depression, increases blood flow and normalizes levels of cortisol, insulin, blood glucose, and helps with your thyroid
5. Nutritional Supplements. Supplements such as DHEA at 15 to 30 mg helps. Vitamin C, 500 mg to 3,000 mg; Vitamin B5, 900 to 1,500 mg; Vitamin E, 400 to 800 I.U; Beta-Carotene, 10,000 to 25,000 I.U.
6. Diet. Combine unrefined carbohydrates (whole grains) with protein and oils (nuts and seeds) at most meals—olive, walnut, fiber, flax and high-quality fish oil. Eat regular meals, chew food well, and eat by 10 AM and again for lunch. Avoid any hydrogenated fats, caffeine, chocolate, white carbohydrates, and junk foods. Diets should have a heavy emphasis on vegetables.

R. Fredriksen is the Vice President of Nutrition Dome, a leading provider of pioneer nutritional formulas. For more information, please visit www.nutritiondome.com.

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The Physiology of Success
By Danek S. Kaus

Did you know that the way you use your body can lead to success or failure?

It’s true. Our old friend NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has taken the mind/body connection a step further. NLP shows us that there is a physiology of success. How you sit, stand, walk, etc., can have a major impact on both your self-confidence and your level of competence.

Which direction is your body leading you right now? Here’s how to find out and what to do about it if you don’t like the answer.

First, take a moment to think about your current emotional state. Are you happy, depressed, sad, motivated?

Next, become aware of how you are sitting or standing. If you are reading this article, you are probably sitting at the moment. Are you sitting straight back, with you feet flat on the floor? Are you slouching? Is your breathing deep and healing or shallow and tense?

Whatever position you are in, it is a reflections of your current emotional state. If you want to change what you are feeling/thinking you need to change your physiology. It goes back to the mind/body thing. Your thoughts and emotions affect your body and your body affects your emotions. Change one and you change the other.

Think about what or how you would like to feel. For now, let’s say you want to feel more confident and motivated. Now ask yourself, “How would I sit and breathe if I were extremely confident and motivated?”

“But I don’t know how I would do that,” you might respond.

Yes you do. The inner part of you knows. Just imagine you that your are already thinking and feeling what you want to experience. Go ahead. Pretend you feel that way. Now let your body adjust itself to how it wants to be. Sit, or stand or walk, as though you had the thoughts and feelings you want to a have.

If it’s confidence and motivation, you are probably sitting or standing with your back straight. You might notice your breathing has changed. Your face might be more relaxed. You may even be smiling.

Enjoy your new experience.

Now I’m going to take it away from you. Don’t worry. You can have it back in a moment.

Sit or stand the way your were before you read this article. Notice the difference? Not so good, huh? If you want to recapture how you felt a moment ago, simply change your physiology back to the way you want it to be.

You can use this technique in so many ways. You can create a physiology for learning, working, creating, talking with authority and so on. All you have to do is change into the physiology that matches the mental/emotional state you want to experience.

And then reap the rewards.

PERSUADE ANYONE, ANYWHERE ANYTIME

Read Power Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business by David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus

ARE YOU A MILLIONAIRE IN TRAINING? CLICK ON THE LINKS FOR MORE INFO


Add these great books to your library:

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker
Eker
Do This. Get Rich by Jim Britt
Britt

Start Late, Finish Rich by David Bach
Bach

How to Get Rich by Donald J. Trump
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REDUCE STRESS by KILLING THE SHOULD MONSTER
Guest Article

Reduce Stress - Shed Your "Shoulds"
By Pat Samples


Living with a Should Monster? A Should Monster is that critical nagging voice that repeatedly tells you that you should be doing a better job as a caregiver. It could be a replay of the voice of your spouse, relative, or friend, or it could be your own self-critic who’s creating merciless “should” lists for you.

See if these sound familiar:

“I should be a lot more patient.”

“I should be able to manage by myself.”

“I shouldn’t complain; other people have it worse.”


Such unrealistic and demanding “shoulds” pile on the stress. For example, the more you criticize yourself for not being patient enough, the more tense you’ll likely feel, making you less patient with others. It might be comforting to realize that even Mother Theresa was known to be fairly testy with those around her, despite her great love and care for suffering people.

The next time you hear yourself saying, “I should,” ask yourself three questions:

1) Is it true?

Is it true that you “should” be able to manage by yourself? Pioneers in the Old West had to get by on their own because no one else was around for miles, but this lone ranger philosophy isn’t “true” today, and it can cost you your health.

Is it true you shouldn’t complain? “Whining” may not win friends, but pretending that you’re not hurting when the going gets rough may leave you feeling discouraged, lonely, and even depressed. And though your pain is less than someone else’s, it still hurts. Telling someone in a straightforward way that you’re honestly struggling may open the way for receiving the kind of help people genuinely want to give.

2) How would my stress level change if I didn’t have that thought?

If you didn’t demand greater patience of yourself, for example, maybe you’d feel less pressure on yourself—and actually feel like being more patient.

3) Whose thought is it?

Does your “should” come directly from your merciless Should Monster? Say “No thank you” or “I don’t buy that” to your inner critic.

Is your “should” based on your own sincere beliefs? Then why not turn it from a should statement to a free choice by saying “I will” or “I’m willing” instead. For example, “I’ll do my best to be more patient (and my best is good enough!)” or “I’m willing to manage by myself.”

Then check again, and see if the new statement rings true and if it lowers your stress. If not, then make a new choice such as “I’m willing to have help and I’ll ask around until I get it.” By taking charge of your thoughts, you can stop feeling pushed by your Should Monster and instead become inspired by goals that reflect your own free choice.

Pat Samples is the author of Daily Comforts for Caregivers and Self-Care for Caregivers and an international speaker who helps family caregivers find peace of mind. Learn more at [http://www.agingandcaregiving.com/]http://www.agingandcaregiving.com.

The Winner's Edge is back on line.

After resolving a couple of technnical glitches, and needing some time off, The Winner's Edge is back to give you some of the best ideas for improving every area of your life.

With that in mind, it's time to LEARN HOW TO --

RELEASE PAINFUL MEMORIES

This technique is based on NLP (Neuro Linguisitic Programming).

Here's how it works. Let's say that someone you care about hurt you badly and no matter how you try, you just can't seem to release the pain. Maybe they broke your heart, insulted you or embarassed you in some way. No matter how much time has past, you can't seem to get over the original pain.

One of the reasons you can't is that every time you replay the memory in your mind, your are encoding it more in the nerurons of your brain. It's like having an MP3 player that has only one song, which you can't stand, loaded into it -- 2,000 times.

In order to release the pain of the memory, you have to change it in some significant way.

Start by reliving the memory in detail, seeing what you saw and hearing what you heard. When you look at that important someone and see their face, do something to make it less attractive and/or ridiculous. Put a clown nose on it. Maybe you could paint on a ridiculous clown smile. You might add on some gigantic ears, anything to make that person look ridiculous and seem less attractive, domineering or whatever.

Now give them a silly voice. Make them sound like some cartoon character. If you want you can imagine silly music playing in the background.

Use your imagination and try your own variations.

Now relive the scene in your mind watching that person with the goofy face and the cartoon voice. Play it over and over in your mind this way -- vividly. Play it backwards and forwards for a real laugh. As you do, the trauma of the event will begin to fade. Do the exercise enough and you will be unable to have the same negative feelings, even if you want to. If you were to run into that person, you might even find it difficult to keep a straight face because your brain has new ways to respond to them and to the pain they caused you.

Try it and see. If you like the results, keep coming back to The Winner's Edge to learn more NLP tecchniques and lots of other ways to become happier, healthier, wiser and more successful.

Don't forget to bring your clown nose.

Danek S. Kaus

WANT TO BECOME A POWERFUL PERSUADER?

Read "Power Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business" by David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus

THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR -- KEY TO ALL SUCCESS
BY BRIAN TRACY

From his book, “Personal Success”

Your success in every area of life will be based largely on the quality and quantity of relationships that you can initiate and develop over time.

The Communication Process

The ancient Greeks taught that all conversation involved three ingredients: Ethos, or the character of the speaker; Pathos, connecting with the emotions; and Logos. The logos discussed by the Greeks refers to the factual content of a message, the words used. It refers to the argument that you present on behalf of your point of view. (However, we know that the facts themselves, although they are important, are not as powerful or as influential as the emotions are.)

The Selling Process

In selling, we know that there are three parts to the process.

These are, first, establishing rapport with the prospective customer, second, identifying the problem or need that the prospective customer has and, third, presenting the solution. These are the ethos, the pathos and the logos of selling to someone.

Build Good Relationships

Your success in every area of life will be based largely on the quality and quantity of relationships that you can initiate and develop over time. In the world of business and sales today, relationships are everything. We often call this the "friendship factor." We have discovered that a person will not do business with you until he or she is convinced that you are his or her friend and are acting in his or her best interest. In other words, you cannot influence someone unless he or she likes you in some way. Of course, it's often possible for you to influence a person if he fears you, but that type of influence lasts only until the person can rearrange his situation and escape from the circumstances that enable you to have control over him.


How to Influence and Persuade Others

The way to influence people, then, is to earn their liking and respect, to appeal to the friendship factor. This requires spending time with him, caring for him and respecting him. The more time that you are willing to spend with the person, the greater will be his tendency to trust you and to feel that you are acting in his best interest. The more obvious it is that you care about the person, about what he really needs, the more likely it is that he will be open to your influence. This is even more important in your personal relationships, with your family and friends. The more that people feel you care about them, the more open they will be to your influence.

Action Exercises

First, slow down when you first meet a person in a business or sales situation. Take some time to build a relationship with him or her before you proceed to business matters.

Second, appeal to the friendship factor that underlies all good business and personal relationships. Ask questions about the person and his or her life and concerns. Listen attentively to the answers. Focus on the relationship first.

For more information on Brian Tracy, visit www.briantracy.com

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GET IN SHAPE AT THE OFFICE WITH ONE MINUTE WORKOUTS

Sitting at a desk all day can add on the pounds and reduce your energy level.

Now you can get into shape at the office in only one minute at a time, thanks to the book "Gotta Minute? The Ultimate Guide of One Minute Workouts for Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime!," by Bonnie Nygard, M.Ed. and Bonnie Hopper, M.Ed.

Here are just a few tips to begin sculpting your new Olympian body at work:

Create ways to do more walking. Make time to walk in the morning, at midday and in the afternoon. Although five minutes would be better, one minute is still good. If you think you can’t spare a minute, or that it might look odd, find some excuses to walk. For example, instead of going to the closest bathroom, use one farther away, perhaps on a different floor. Then you can walk up and down the steps as well.

Instead of discussing something with a co-worker on the phone, walk to their office. If they are of like mind, you can even suggest that you have a walking meeting. The same can be true of your breaks, instead of sitting in a lunch room, take a walking break with a friend.

You can even walk back and forth while talking on the phone. If the cord is too short, buy a longer one. One word of caution: running or jogging in place can damage your joints, so please limit your one-minutes workouts to walking.

There are also a number of great exercises you can do while sitting to tone and stretch your body.

To stretch your pectoral (chest) muscles, simply reach your arms around the back of the chair and expand your chest.

While seated, alternately extend each leg in front of you, which works the quadriceps.

You can work your inner thighs and hips by doing a seated jumping jack motion, that is, lifting your feet in the air, spreading them apart and then back together.

When you have the chance, stand up and do push-ups against your desk or a wall. Be sure to hold your arms shoulder width apart and wear non-slip shoes.

There are lots of other quick and easy ways to keep in shape at home, in the car or at the office in Gotta Minute? The Ultimate Guide of One-Minute Workouts, so walk to your local bookstore and pick one up.

NIBBLE NEGOTIATING

This is part 2 of Roger Dawson's article on using the nibble technique in negotiations. If you missed part 1, please scroll down to read it first.

Look out for people Nibbling on you

There's a point in the negotiation when you are very vulnerable, and that point is when you think the negotiations are all over.I bet you've been the victim of a Nibble at one time or another. You've been selling a car or a truck to someone. You're finally feeling good because you've found the buyer. The pressure and the tension of the negotiations have drained away. He's sitting in your office writing out the check. But just as he's about to sign his name he looks up and says,

"That does include a full tank of gas, doesn't it?"

You're at your most vulnerable point in the negotiations, for these two reasons:
You've just made a sale, and you're feeling good. When you feel good, you tend to give things away that you otherwise wouldn't.

You're thinking, "Oh, no. I thought we had resolved everything. I don't want to take a chance on going back to the beginning and re-negotiating the whole thing. If I do that, I might lose the entire sale. Perhaps I'm better off just giving in on this little point."

So, you're at your most vulnerable just after the other person has made the decision to go ahead. Look out for people Nibbling on you. Making a huge sale has excited you so much that you can't wait to call your sales manager and tell her what you've done. The buyer tells you that he needs to call purchasing and get a purchase order number for you. While he's on the telephone, he puts his hand over the mouthpiece and says, "By the way, you can give us 60 days on this, can't you? All of your competitors will." Look out for people Nibbling on you. Because you've just made a big sale, and you're afraid to reopen the negotiations for fear of losing it, you'll have to fight to avoid the tendency to make the concession.

Countering the Nibble when the other person does it to you.The Counter Gambit to the Nibble is to gently make the other person feel-cheap. You have to be very careful about the way you do this because obviously you're at a sensitive point in the negotiation. You smile sweetly and say: "Oh, come on, you negotiated a fantastic price with me. Don't make us wait for our money, too. Fair enough?" So, that's the Counter Gambit to the Nibble when it's used against you. Be sure that you do it with a big grin on your face, so that they don't take it too seriously.

So, consider these points when you go into negotiations:

Are there some elements that you are better off to bring up as a Nibble, after you have reached initial agreement?

Do you have a plan to make a second effort on anything to which you can't get them to agree the first time around?

Are you prepared for the possibility of them Nibbling on you at the last moment?

So, Power Negotiators always take into account the possibility of being able to Nibble. Timing is very critical-catching the other parties when the tension is off and they're feeling good because they think the negotiations are all over. On the other hand, looking out for the other side Nibbling on you at the last moment, when you're feeling good. At that point, you're the most vulnerable and liable to make a concession that half an hour later you'll be thinking-why on Earth did I do that? I didn't have to do that. We'd agreed on everything already.

Key points to remember:
With a well-timed Nibble, you can get things at the end of a negotiation that you couldn't have gotten the other side to agree to earlier.

It works because the other person's mind reverses itself after it has made a decision. He may have been fighting the thought of buying from you at the start of the negotiation. After he has made a decision to buy from you, however, you can Nibble for a bigger order, upgraded product, or additional services.
Being willing to make that additional effort is what separates great salespeople from merely good salespeople.

Stop the other person from Nibbling on you by showing her in writing the cost of any additional features, services, or extended terms, and by not revealing that you have the authority to make any concessions.

When the other person Nibbles on you, respond by making him feel cheap, in a good-natured way.

Avoid post-negotiation Nibbling by addressing and tying up all the details and using Gambits that cause them to feel that they won.

This article is excerpted in part from Roger Dawson's new book-Secrets of Power Negotiating, published by Career Press and on sale in bookstores everywhere for $24.99.

If You Don't Feel You're Getting Enough Out of a Negotiation, Nibble for More at the End
by Roger Dawson

Power Negotiators know that by using the Nibbling Gambit, you can get a little bit more even after you have agreed on everything. You can also get the other person to do things that she had refused to do earlier.

Car salespeople understand this, don't they? They know that when they get you on the lot, a kind of psychological resistance has built up to the purchase. They know to first get you to the point where you're thinking, "Yes, I'm going to buy a car. Yes, I'm going to buy it here." Even if it means closing you on any make and model of car, even a stripped down model that carries little profit for them.
Then they can get you into the closing room
and start adding all the other little extras that really build the profit into the car.

So, the principle of Nibbling tells you that you can accomplish some things more easily with a Nibble later in the negotiations.Children are brilliant Nibblers, aren't they? If you have teenage children living at home, you know that they don't have to take any courses on negotiating. But you have to-just to stand a chance of surviving the whole process of bringing them up-because they're naturally brilliant negotiators. Not because they learn it in school but because when they're little everything they get, they get with negotiating skills.

When my daughter, Julia, graduated from high school, she wanted to get a great high school graduation gift from me. She had three things on her hidden agenda. Number one, she wanted a five-week trip to Europe.

Number two; she wanted $1,200 in spending money. And number three; she wanted a new set of luggage.

She was smart enough not to ask for everything up front. She was a good enough negotiator to first close me on the trip, then come back a few weeks later and show me in writing that the recommended spending money was $1,200, and got me to commit to that. Then right at the last minute she came to me and she said, "Dad, you wouldn't want me going to Europe with that ratty old set of luggage would you? All the kids will be there with new luggage." And she got that too. Had she asked for everything up front, I would have negotiated out the luggage and negotiated down the spending money.

What's happening here is that a person's mind always works to reinforce decisions that it has just made. Power Negotiators know how this works and use it to get the other side to agree to something that he or she wouldn't have agreed to earlier in the negotiation.

Why is Nibbling such an effective technique? To find out why this works so well, a couple of psychologists did a study at a racetrack in Canada. They studied the attitude of people immediately before they placed the bet and again immediately after they placed the bet. They found out that before the people placed the bet, they were uptight, unsure, and anxious about what they were about to do. Compare this to almost anyone with whom you negotiate: They may not know you, they may not know your company, and they certainly don't know what's going to come out of this relationship. Chances are they're uptight, unsure, and anxious.

At the race track, the researchers found out that once people had made the decision to go ahead and place the bet that suddenly they felt very good about what they had just done and even had a tendency to want to double the bet before the race started. In essence, their minds did a flip-flop once they had made the decision. Before they decided, they were fighting it; once they'd made the decision, they supported it.

If you're a gambler, you've had that sensation, haven't you? Watch them at the roulette tables in Atlantic City or Vegas. The gamblers place their bets. The croupier spins the ball. At the very last moment, people are pushing out additional bets. The mind always works to reinforce decisions that it has made earlier.

So one rule for Power Negotiators is that you don't necessarily ask for everything up front. You wait for a moment of agreement in the negotiations, then go back, and Nibble for a little extra.

You might think of the Power Negotiating process as pushing a ball uphill, a large rubber ball that's much bigger than you. You're straining to force it up to the top of the hill. The top of the hill is the moment of first agreement in the negotiations. Once you reach that point, then the ball moves easily down the other side of the hill. This is because people feel good after they have made the initial agreement. They feel a sense of relief that the tension and stress is over. Their minds are working to reinforce the decision that they've just made, and they're more receptive to any additional suggestions you may have.

Always go back at the end to make a second effort on something that you couldn't get them to agree to earlier.

Part 2 , “Look Out for People Nibbling on You, ” will appear on Friday

This article is excerpted in part from Roger Dawson's new book-Secrets of Power Negotiating, published by Career Press and on sale in bookstores everywhere for $24.99.

Get Roger Dawson’s Books

“The Secrets of Power Negotiating” by Roger Dawson
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“The 13 Secrets of Power Performance” By Roger Dawson
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“The Secrets of Power Negotiating for Salespeople”
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Working at home can be the first step towards living the lifestyle of your dreams.Let us show you how to take the first step today.
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Did You Miss These Winning Tips?

"What Your Habits Say About You -- And How to Change Them?

"Don't Lose Money" by Success Guru Brian Tracy

"10 Polite Ways to Say No at Work"

Read the May archives. Scroll up a few inches to see the archives links on the left hand side of the screen.

WANT TO MAKE MORE MONEY? LEARN TO THINK LIKE A MILLIONAIRE

Book review: “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: The Inner Game of Wealth,” by T. Harv Eker

By Danek S. Kaus

It’s true what they say: The rich are different.

But it’s not the homes they live in or the cars they drive that make them different.

It’s the way they think that makes them different. And the way they think makes them rich. That’s the premise of the book, “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”. Author T. Harv Eker has studied the rich, the people who know how to make money. Tons and tons of money.

According to Eker, we all have a mental financial blueprint, a thermostat, that determines how much money we can make. Say your money making thermostat is set for $50,000. No matter what you do, how hard you work, how many businesses you start, your subconscious mind will find ways to keep you at the level of making that amount of money.

This financial thermostat is determined by our beliefs. According to Eker, people with a millionaire mind have 17 beliefs that are different from people who are poor.

For example, rich people believe that they create their lives. Poor people believe they are the victim of circumstances.

Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.

Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.

Rich people play the money game to win. Poor people play not to lose.

If you find yourself with some beliefs that keep you from making money, take heart. The real purpose of Eker’s book is to show you how to change your beliefs so that you can become a money-making machine.

I highly recommend this book. I’ve read it twice and plan to read it again and again.

“Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” is an easy-to-read small book that can deliver on big promises. Thousands of people have used Eker’s coaching to begin making their own fortunes. Maybe now is the time for you to create your own million dollar mind.

Get this book on Amazon. Click on the link below.
Eker 1

5 Empowering Beliefs
By Danek S. Kaus

We all have beliefs, beliefs about abilities, our health, our chances for success and even beliefs about the nature of the universe.

For centuries we have been taught that our beliefs shape our lives. If this is true, then it is obvious that some beliefs will serve us better than others. Some will lead to success while others will drive you down to into failure.

With that in mind, here are some beliefs that author and success coach Michelle Armstrong suggests can help empower you to create the life you want.

1. Everything happens for a reason. “When we seek out the cause behind everything that happens in our lives, we become more resourceful and instinctive in managing and dealing with everything that occurs,” Armstrong says.

When Armstrong flew from her native Australia to what would be her new home in the Los Angeles area, she spent 14 grueling hours in flight. The hotel had lost her reservation and they wouldn’t have a room for her for several hours. To kill time, someone recommended she visit a restaurant in nearby Hermosa Beach. She accidentally ended up in Redondo Beach. Since she couldn’t find the restaurant, she went into a bar. She sat down at the bar and had a conversation with the man next to her. He later became her husband.

2. You always have infinite choices. “If you’re driving on the freeway and someone cuts you off you have choices. You can blow them a kiss or give them the bird. You can replay the incident over in your head and fester about it for weeks or you could ignore it and forget about it,” Armstrong says.

3. Personal responsibility is power. Armstrong says there are two kinds of people -- those who believe they are responsible for everything in their lives and those believe they have no control over their lives. Those who believe they have no power operate as victims. “They can’t create the results they want because they are not responsible for anything,” Armstrong says. “Those who believe they are responsible have the power to change their lives. Even those who don’t believe but act as if they do, still have the power to create change.”

4. Your unconscious mind holds the key. “If you choose to believe you know everything about yourself, you will never reach your full potential,” Armstrong says. “You need to pay attention to unconscious activity.”

One way to do this is to create a “shadow self,” one who is constantly monitoring what is going on in your life by asking yourself, “What am I feeling in this moment? How am I creating what I am feeling?”

Once you are aware of what you are feeling and how you created that feeling, you must make a conscious effort to change the feeling. For example, if you continually react badly to criticism, you can catch yourself in the moment. Decide how you would like to react instead. You might decide that you need to be treated with respect and then communicate that to the other person instead of getting outraged or depressed.

5. You get what you focus on. As an exercise, look around the room and notice everything that is brown. Do this now. Okay? Now, without looking around the room again, close your eyes and try to remember every green object in the room. Not so easy, huh? Life works this way. “If you focus on poverty, on what you don’t have, that is what you will create,” Armstrong says. “If you focus on abundance, that is what you will create.”

Michelle Armstrong is the author of “Manage Your Mind: Master Your Life.” To learn more about her coaching, visit www.armstrongmethod.com and www.LiveYourAuthenticSelf.com

Slug/What Your Habits Say About You -- And How to Change Them
By Danek S. Kaus

We all have habits. Some of them are good habits, like exercising regularly.
Other habits, like smoking, drinking or eating too much, or procrastinating, don’t serve us. They lessen our lives and keep us from being who we could be.
In many ways, your habits, good or bad, define who you are, according to author, speaker and success coach Tamir Qadree.
Fortunately, we can break our bad habits and replace them with good ones.
Below is a list of some bad habits, their causes, and their cures, according to Qadree.

Overeating

Cause: This habit can often be rooted in childhood, especially for people who grew up in homes where there was a lot of stress or poverty. One reason people overeat it is to feel better. Food can create chemical changes in the body that give us an emotional high. Qadree says that overeating to get a short emotional high is an immature approach to feeling good.

Solution: The key is self-love. “Know that whatever happened in the past it, is all right to love and forgive yourself, to tell yourself that you are worthy and good enough,” Qadree says.

Procrastination

Cause: Fear of success. “People who fear success worry about how their life will change. “They are afraid that their family and friends will react negatively,“ Qadree says.

Solution: Understand that it is okay for you to be yourself. Do the things that bring you joy as they move you closer to your dreams. “If you enjoy doing something deep in your heart, it will bring you success,” Qadree says.

Sleeping Late

Cause: Oversleeping or sleeping too much can be caused by a fear of facing the world. It is also caused by not knowing what you want to do with your life.

Solution: Find a purpose for your life. Qadree suggests getting quiet and asking God, Your Higher Self or whatever source of inner guidance you use, including your subconscious mind, to tell you what your purpose is. “If it involves serving others in some way, it is a true purpose. If it is does not, you’re just kidding yourself,” Qadree says.

Watching too Much TV or Excessive Video Game Playing

Cause: Wasting too much time on distractions means that you are afraid of your own imagination and of silence. It can also stem from a fear of not being accepted or a fear of your own power. Qadree cites a saying from author Marianne Williamson: “The problem is not that we are not powerful, but that we are very powerful.”

Solution: Spend 10 minutes in silence early in the morning and then late at night. Talk to God or your subconscious mind, etc. Focus on your life. Feel the life within you and focus on your inner core. “Most people don’t take time to feel the life inside them. If they did it twice a day, they would see remarkable changes,” Qadree says. “Instead of running for the noise they would run for the silence and feel more confident and less stressed. They would feel more attached to life.”

Tamir Adree is the president of Esteem Now, Inc., which specializes in building healthy self-esteem. His latest book is “The Reclining Master Awaken: One Minute to Healthy Self Esteem.” For more information visit www.esteemnow.com

BUY TAMIR ADREE’S BOOK -- Click the link
Qadree 1

OTHER SELF-ESTEEM BOOKS

10 Days to Self-Esteem -- Click the link
Esteem 1


Six Pillars of Self-Esteem -- Click the link
Esteem 2

DON'T LOSE MONEY
By Brian Tracy
Throughout the history of American enterprise, you've heard the words, "work hard and save your money." Work hard and save your money. It is the oldest rule for success in America. It's so important, as a matter of fact, that W. Clement Stone once said, "if you cannot save money, then the seeds of greatness are not in you."

Saving Is a DisciplineWhy is it that saving money is so important? Because saving money is a discipline and any discipline affects all other disciplines in your life. If you do not have the discipline to refrain from spending all the money that you earn, then you are not qualified to become wealthy and if you do become wealthy, you'll not be capable of holding on to it.
The Law of AttractionA principle with regard to saving your money is the law of attraction. The law of attraction is activated by saved money. Even one dollar saved will start to attract more money. Here's what I suggest that you do. If you're really serious about your future, go down and open a savings account. Put as much money as you can into it, even if it's only ten dollars. And then begin to collect little bits of money, and every week go down and put something into that account.

Attract More Money Into Your LifeYou will find that the more you put in that account, the more you will attract from sources that you cannot now predict. But if you do not begin the savings process, if you don't begin putting something away towards your financial independence, then nothing will happen to you. The law of attraction just simply won't work.

Invest Your Money ConservativelyOnce you begin to accumulate money, here's another rule. Invest the money conservatively. Marvin Davis, self-made billionaire, was asked by Forbes Magazine, "How do you account for your financial success?" And he said, "Well, I have two rules for financial investing." He said, "Rule number one is, don't lose money." He said, whenever I'm tempted, whenever I see an opportunity to invest where there's a possibility I could lose it all, I just simply refrain from putting the money in. Rule number two is, whenever I get tempted, I refer back to rule number one. Don't lose money

CLICK ON THIS BOOK COVER


Get Rich SlowlyGeorge Classon says, in The Richest Man In Babylon, that the key is to accumulate your funds and then invest them very conservatively. One of the characteristics of self-made millionaires, one of the characteristics of old money in America is that it's very cautiously, conservatively and prudently invested.

Don't try to get rich quickly. Concentrate rather on getting rich slowly. If all you do is save ten percent of your earnings, put it away, and let it accumulate at compound interest, that alone will make you wealthy.
Action ExercisesHere are two things you can do to apply these lessons to your financial life:

First, open a separate savings and investing account today. From this day forward, put every single dollar you can spare into this account and resolve to never touch it or spend it for any reason.
Second, whenever you consider any investment of your savings, remember the rule, "Don't lose money!" It is better to keep the money working at a low rate of interest than to take the chance of losing it. Be careful. A fool and his money are soon parted.

To learn more about best-selling author Brian Tracy. visit www.briantracy.com

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10 POLITE WAYS TO SAY "NO"

Do demanding coworkers make your day miserable with one request after another? To keep your sanity (not to mention your money and maybe even your job) there comes a time when you need to stand firm and deny their requests.
Here are ten typical requests and the ways to politely say "no" loud and clear.

1. If someone asks you to contribute to another office gift fund, you can say, "No, I'm going to give a gift on my own."

2. If a coworker asks you for a loan until payday, you can say, "My heart say yes, but my bankbook say no, no, no."

3. If a colleague asks you to work late, you can say, "Sorry, I'm busy tonight. Let me see if I can find someone else to help you."

4. If a coworker asks you to tell the boss a "little white lie," you can say, "That's a very bad idea. The answer is no."

5. If a coworker asks you to vouch for his or her attendance at a meeting you can say, "That would be a big mistake for both of us. The answer is no."

6. If a coworker asks you to complain to your boss you can say, "No, I don’t have a problem with him and don't want to take sides. You'll need to work out the problem between the two of you, or ask our boss to mediate."

7. If a coworker pressures you to organize an office party, you can say, "No, I'm sorry but I can't. I'm just too busy."

8. If an office colleague asks you out on a date, and you’d rather not go, you can say, "I appreciate the invitation, but no thanks."

9. If someone at work asks you to hire a friend for a job instead of a more qualified applicant, you can say, "No, I can’t do that."

10. If a coworker asks you to help out with a project that you don’t have time for, you can say something like, "No I can't help. Maybe you can ask the boss for some extra help."

For more information about Don Gabor’s books, tapes, workshops and coaching, please contact him at 718-768-024 or visit his website at www.dongabor.com

BOOKS BY DON GABOR

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends
(Recognize 4 conversation styles, remember names)
CLICK ON GABOR 1
Gabor 1

Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations
CLICK ON GABOR 4
Gabor 4

Words that Win
CLICK ON GABOR 2
Gabor 2

How to talk to the People you Love
CLICK ON GABOR 3
Gabor 3

HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOING?

If you're going through a rough patch, poor communication might be the culprit. The article below might help you to save your relationship before things get too rough.

If you're not in a relationship, click on the link near the end of the article.

9-Telltale Signs of Poor Communication in Relationships
By Elaine Sihera

Poor communication is the most common complaint (as stated by 68 per cent of couples seeking counselling). Apparently, the average couple talk for only five minutes per day! Yet communication is the most important aspect of a relationship. Once we stop communicating, stop being affectionate and stop making love, we no longer have a relationship. There are many partnerships which lack those three essential ingredients and are still limping along to infinity, with two very unhappy individuals. Communication is not just verbal. It includes every message – feeling, desire and thought – we convey to the other person by way of eye contact, emotion or body language. The secret of communicating effectively is knowing how to avoid the unhappy, harmful interactions.

Poor communicators tend to compete with one another in discussions, to blame each other constantly to boost their egos and to find scapegoats. Everything is a competition for them and they are more interested in being right than having a successful relationship. They perceive themselves to be all-knowing, never giving an inch to anyone, while consistently demanding their own right of way. They are not focused on the relationship they share, only on the arguments, tending to be secretive, self righteous and in denial, so conditions are always tense as they compete for control. It is mainly about who ‘wins’ and who is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, without any acknowledgement of the other’s feelings or fears. In their eyes, there is only ever one way of doing or seeing things – their way.

No one, or any other method, is ever valid or accepted.

Characteristics of poor communicators are the following:

* Criticism: They usually have a steady flow of criticism, put-downs or blame for their partner. But the trouble with blame is that it keeps us focused on our partners to prevent us seeing, or accepting, our own faults.

* Defensiveness: Neither partner feels cared for or listened to. They are both too busy defending themselves in the abusive onslought and fighting to get their points in.

* Denial of Discussion: They respond to criticism with defensiveness, often denying everything – even discussion, making excuses and accusing their partner of being 'emotional', 'stupid', 'silly' or 'mad'.

* Gift of Sanity: Poor communicators are usually the ones who claim to be 'sane' and 'reasonable' and 'caring'. They always feel put-upon and the victim.

* Biased Perception: Individual perception is usually biased, distorted or contradictory. There is also likely to be lots of exaggeration and anger instead of compromise.

* Straying from the Isssue: They tend to stray from the main issue and find no solutions, throwing all kinds of complaints and insults at their partner, but without aiming for anything constructive.

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* Mind Reading: They tend to ‘mind read’ and/or ‘psychoanalyse’ their partner excessively, as well as name-call and show contempt by mocking, rolling their eyes, being insulting, counter-attacking and interrupting constantly.

* Holding Out: There is a determination by poor communicators not to ‘give in’, only to show they are right, with lots of anger, and, eventually, deadly silence.

* Stonewalling: When the attacks get too much, or when they hear something they do not like, there is likely to be no response. Instead poor communicators withdraw from the situation in a self-righteous way(stonewalling), preventing any kind of discussion or resolution.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah - http://www.myspace.com/elaineone and http://www.elainesihera.co.uk/) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk/ as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"
WANT TO COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE?
These books will show you how:
“20 Communication Tips for Couples: A 30-Minute Guide to Better Relationships”
CR1

“Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict”
CR2

“Why Can’t You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns That Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship?
CR3

THE TOP 10 INTERNET CONS
The Internet has spawned a new industry of ways to steal your money on line. Don’t be a victim.

Here are the top 10 Internet cons, according to the Federal Trade Commission:

Internet Auctions

The Bait: Shop in a "virtual marketplace" that offers a huge selection of products at great deals.
The Catch: After sending their money, consumers say they've received an item that is less valuable than promised, or, worse yet, nothing at all.
The Safety Net: When bidding through an Internet auction, particularly for a valuable item, check out the seller and insist on paying with a credit card or using an escrow service.

Internet Access Services

The Bait: Free money, simply for cashing a check.
The Catch: Consumers say they've been "trapped" into long-term contracts for Internet access or another web service, with big penalties for cancellation or early termination.
The Safety Net: If a check arrives at your home or business, read both sides carefully and look inside the envelope to find the conditions you're agreeing to if you cash the check. Read your phone bill carefully for unexpected or unauthorized charges.

Credit Card Fraud

The Bait: Surf the Internet and view adult images online for free, just for sharing your credit card number to prove you're over 18.
The Catch: Consumers say that fraudulent promoters have used their credit card numbers to run up charges on their cards.
The Safety Net: Share credit card information only when buying from a company you trust. Dispute unauthorized charges on your credit card bill by complaining to the bank that issued the card. Federal law limits your liability to $50 in charges if your card is misused.

International Modem Dialing

The Bait: Get free access to adult material and pornography by downloading a "viewer" or "dialer" computer program.
The Catch: Consumers complained about exorbitant long-distance charges on their phone bill. Through the program, their modem is disconnected, then reconnected to the Internet through an international long-distance number.The Safety Net: Don't download any program to access a so-called "free" service without reading all the disclosures carefully for cost information. Just as important, read your phone bill carefully and challenge any charges you didn't authorize or don't understand.

Web Cramming
The Bait: Get a free custom-designed website for a 30-day trial period, with no obligation to continue.
The Catch: Consumers say they've been charged on their telephone bills or received a separate invoice, even if they never accepted the offer or agreed to continue the service after the trial period.
The Safety Net: Review your telephone bills and challenge any charges you don't recognize.

Multilevel Marketing Plans/ Pyramids
The Bait: Make money through the products and services you sell as well as those sold by the people you recruit into the program.
The Catch: Consumers say that they've bought into plans and programs, but their customers are other distributors, not the general public. Some multi-level marketing programs are actually illegal pyramid schemes. When products or services are sold only to distributors like yourself, there's no way to make money.
The Safety Net: Avoid plans that require you to recruit distributors, buy expensive inventory or commit to a minimum sales volume.

Travel and Vacation

The Bait: Get a luxurious trip with lots of "extras" at a bargain-basement price.
The Catch: Consumers say some companies deliver lower-quality accommodations and services than they've advertised or no trip at all. Others have been hit with hidden charges or additional requirements after they've paid.
The Safety Net: Get references on any travel company you're planning to do business with. Then, get details of the trip in writing, including the cancellation policy, before signing on.

Business Opportunities
The Bait: Be your own boss and earn big bucks.
The Catch: Taken in by promises about potential earnings, many consumers have invested in a "biz op" that turned out to be a "biz flop." There was no evidence to back up the earnings claims.
The Safety Net: Talk to other people who started businesses through the same company, get all the promises in writing, and study the proposed contract carefully before signing. Get an attorney or an accountant to take a look at it, too.

Investments

The Bait: Make an initial investment in a day trading system or service and you'll quickly realize huge returns.
The Catch: Big profits always mean big risk. Consumers have lost money to programs that claim to be able to predict the market with 100 percent accuracy.
The Safety Net: Check out the promoter with state and federal securities and commodities regulators, and talk to other people who invested through the program to find out what level of risk you're assuming.

Health Care Products/Services

The Bait: Items not sold through traditional suppliers are "proven" to cure serious and even fatal health problems.
The Catch: Claims for "miracle" products and treatments convince consumers that their health problems can be cured. But people with serious illnesses who put their hopes in these offers might delay getting the health care they need.
The Safety Net: Consult a health care professional before buying any "cure-all" that claims to treat a wide range of ailments or offers quick cures and easy solutions to serious illnesses.Can you avoid getting caught by a scam artist working the web? Not always. But prudence pays.

General Tips

Be wary of extravagant claims about performance or earnings potential. Get all promises in writing and review them carefully before making a payment or signing a contract.

Read the fine print and all relevant links. Fraudulent promoters sometimes bury the disclosures they're not anxious to share by putting them in teeny-tiny type or in a place where you're unlikely see them.

Look for a privacy policy. If you don't see one - or if you can't understand it - consider taking your business elsewhere.

Be skeptical of any company that doesn't clearly state its name, street address and telephone number. Check it out with the local Better Business Bureau, consumer protection office or state Attorney General.
Think you were victim of a fraud? You can file a complaint with the FTC by calling 1-800-FTC-HELP.

Recommended Reading:
“Don’t Be a Victim! : How to Protect Yourself from Hoaxes, Scams and Frauds”
Click on this link: Fraud 2

“The 200 Best Home Businesses: Easy to Start, Fun to Run, Highly Profitable"
Click on this link: homebiz3

"The Best Home Businesses for the 21st Century"
Click on this Link: homebiz2

"101 Internet Businesses You Can Start from Home"
Click on this link: homebiz1

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PROTECT YOURSELF FROM IDENTITY THEFT
Don’t wait until you’re a victim
Click on this link: LifeLock Identity Theft Prevention

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