Slug/What Your Habits Say About You -- And How to Change Them
By Danek S. Kaus

We all have habits. Some of them are good habits, like exercising regularly.
Other habits, like smoking, drinking or eating too much, or procrastinating, don’t serve us. They lessen our lives and keep us from being who we could be.
In many ways, your habits, good or bad, define who you are, according to author, speaker and success coach Tamir Qadree.
Fortunately, we can break our bad habits and replace them with good ones.
Below is a list of some bad habits, their causes, and their cures, according to Qadree.

Overeating

Cause: This habit can often be rooted in childhood, especially for people who grew up in homes where there was a lot of stress or poverty. One reason people overeat it is to feel better. Food can create chemical changes in the body that give us an emotional high. Qadree says that overeating to get a short emotional high is an immature approach to feeling good.

Solution: The key is self-love. “Know that whatever happened in the past it, is all right to love and forgive yourself, to tell yourself that you are worthy and good enough,” Qadree says.

Procrastination

Cause: Fear of success. “People who fear success worry about how their life will change. “They are afraid that their family and friends will react negatively,“ Qadree says.

Solution: Understand that it is okay for you to be yourself. Do the things that bring you joy as they move you closer to your dreams. “If you enjoy doing something deep in your heart, it will bring you success,” Qadree says.

Sleeping Late

Cause: Oversleeping or sleeping too much can be caused by a fear of facing the world. It is also caused by not knowing what you want to do with your life.

Solution: Find a purpose for your life. Qadree suggests getting quiet and asking God, Your Higher Self or whatever source of inner guidance you use, including your subconscious mind, to tell you what your purpose is. “If it involves serving others in some way, it is a true purpose. If it is does not, you’re just kidding yourself,” Qadree says.

Watching too Much TV or Excessive Video Game Playing

Cause: Wasting too much time on distractions means that you are afraid of your own imagination and of silence. It can also stem from a fear of not being accepted or a fear of your own power. Qadree cites a saying from author Marianne Williamson: “The problem is not that we are not powerful, but that we are very powerful.”

Solution: Spend 10 minutes in silence early in the morning and then late at night. Talk to God or your subconscious mind, etc. Focus on your life. Feel the life within you and focus on your inner core. “Most people don’t take time to feel the life inside them. If they did it twice a day, they would see remarkable changes,” Qadree says. “Instead of running for the noise they would run for the silence and feel more confident and less stressed. They would feel more attached to life.”

Tamir Adree is the president of Esteem Now, Inc., which specializes in building healthy self-esteem. His latest book is “The Reclining Master Awaken: One Minute to Healthy Self Esteem.” For more information visit www.esteemnow.com

BUY TAMIR ADREE’S BOOK -- Click the link
Qadree 1

OTHER SELF-ESTEEM BOOKS

10 Days to Self-Esteem -- Click the link
Esteem 1


Six Pillars of Self-Esteem -- Click the link
Esteem 2

DON'T LOSE MONEY
By Brian Tracy
Throughout the history of American enterprise, you've heard the words, "work hard and save your money." Work hard and save your money. It is the oldest rule for success in America. It's so important, as a matter of fact, that W. Clement Stone once said, "if you cannot save money, then the seeds of greatness are not in you."

Saving Is a DisciplineWhy is it that saving money is so important? Because saving money is a discipline and any discipline affects all other disciplines in your life. If you do not have the discipline to refrain from spending all the money that you earn, then you are not qualified to become wealthy and if you do become wealthy, you'll not be capable of holding on to it.
The Law of AttractionA principle with regard to saving your money is the law of attraction. The law of attraction is activated by saved money. Even one dollar saved will start to attract more money. Here's what I suggest that you do. If you're really serious about your future, go down and open a savings account. Put as much money as you can into it, even if it's only ten dollars. And then begin to collect little bits of money, and every week go down and put something into that account.

Attract More Money Into Your LifeYou will find that the more you put in that account, the more you will attract from sources that you cannot now predict. But if you do not begin the savings process, if you don't begin putting something away towards your financial independence, then nothing will happen to you. The law of attraction just simply won't work.

Invest Your Money ConservativelyOnce you begin to accumulate money, here's another rule. Invest the money conservatively. Marvin Davis, self-made billionaire, was asked by Forbes Magazine, "How do you account for your financial success?" And he said, "Well, I have two rules for financial investing." He said, "Rule number one is, don't lose money." He said, whenever I'm tempted, whenever I see an opportunity to invest where there's a possibility I could lose it all, I just simply refrain from putting the money in. Rule number two is, whenever I get tempted, I refer back to rule number one. Don't lose money

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Get Rich SlowlyGeorge Classon says, in The Richest Man In Babylon, that the key is to accumulate your funds and then invest them very conservatively. One of the characteristics of self-made millionaires, one of the characteristics of old money in America is that it's very cautiously, conservatively and prudently invested.

Don't try to get rich quickly. Concentrate rather on getting rich slowly. If all you do is save ten percent of your earnings, put it away, and let it accumulate at compound interest, that alone will make you wealthy.
Action ExercisesHere are two things you can do to apply these lessons to your financial life:

First, open a separate savings and investing account today. From this day forward, put every single dollar you can spare into this account and resolve to never touch it or spend it for any reason.
Second, whenever you consider any investment of your savings, remember the rule, "Don't lose money!" It is better to keep the money working at a low rate of interest than to take the chance of losing it. Be careful. A fool and his money are soon parted.

To learn more about best-selling author Brian Tracy. visit www.briantracy.com

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10 POLITE WAYS TO SAY "NO"

Do demanding coworkers make your day miserable with one request after another? To keep your sanity (not to mention your money and maybe even your job) there comes a time when you need to stand firm and deny their requests.
Here are ten typical requests and the ways to politely say "no" loud and clear.

1. If someone asks you to contribute to another office gift fund, you can say, "No, I'm going to give a gift on my own."

2. If a coworker asks you for a loan until payday, you can say, "My heart say yes, but my bankbook say no, no, no."

3. If a colleague asks you to work late, you can say, "Sorry, I'm busy tonight. Let me see if I can find someone else to help you."

4. If a coworker asks you to tell the boss a "little white lie," you can say, "That's a very bad idea. The answer is no."

5. If a coworker asks you to vouch for his or her attendance at a meeting you can say, "That would be a big mistake for both of us. The answer is no."

6. If a coworker asks you to complain to your boss you can say, "No, I don’t have a problem with him and don't want to take sides. You'll need to work out the problem between the two of you, or ask our boss to mediate."

7. If a coworker pressures you to organize an office party, you can say, "No, I'm sorry but I can't. I'm just too busy."

8. If an office colleague asks you out on a date, and you’d rather not go, you can say, "I appreciate the invitation, but no thanks."

9. If someone at work asks you to hire a friend for a job instead of a more qualified applicant, you can say, "No, I can’t do that."

10. If a coworker asks you to help out with a project that you don’t have time for, you can say something like, "No I can't help. Maybe you can ask the boss for some extra help."

For more information about Don Gabor’s books, tapes, workshops and coaching, please contact him at 718-768-024 or visit his website at www.dongabor.com

BOOKS BY DON GABOR

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends
(Recognize 4 conversation styles, remember names)
CLICK ON GABOR 1
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Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations
CLICK ON GABOR 4
Gabor 4

Words that Win
CLICK ON GABOR 2
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How to talk to the People you Love
CLICK ON GABOR 3
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HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOING?

If you're going through a rough patch, poor communication might be the culprit. The article below might help you to save your relationship before things get too rough.

If you're not in a relationship, click on the link near the end of the article.

9-Telltale Signs of Poor Communication in Relationships
By Elaine Sihera

Poor communication is the most common complaint (as stated by 68 per cent of couples seeking counselling). Apparently, the average couple talk for only five minutes per day! Yet communication is the most important aspect of a relationship. Once we stop communicating, stop being affectionate and stop making love, we no longer have a relationship. There are many partnerships which lack those three essential ingredients and are still limping along to infinity, with two very unhappy individuals. Communication is not just verbal. It includes every message – feeling, desire and thought – we convey to the other person by way of eye contact, emotion or body language. The secret of communicating effectively is knowing how to avoid the unhappy, harmful interactions.

Poor communicators tend to compete with one another in discussions, to blame each other constantly to boost their egos and to find scapegoats. Everything is a competition for them and they are more interested in being right than having a successful relationship. They perceive themselves to be all-knowing, never giving an inch to anyone, while consistently demanding their own right of way. They are not focused on the relationship they share, only on the arguments, tending to be secretive, self righteous and in denial, so conditions are always tense as they compete for control. It is mainly about who ‘wins’ and who is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, without any acknowledgement of the other’s feelings or fears. In their eyes, there is only ever one way of doing or seeing things – their way.

No one, or any other method, is ever valid or accepted.

Characteristics of poor communicators are the following:

* Criticism: They usually have a steady flow of criticism, put-downs or blame for their partner. But the trouble with blame is that it keeps us focused on our partners to prevent us seeing, or accepting, our own faults.

* Defensiveness: Neither partner feels cared for or listened to. They are both too busy defending themselves in the abusive onslought and fighting to get their points in.

* Denial of Discussion: They respond to criticism with defensiveness, often denying everything – even discussion, making excuses and accusing their partner of being 'emotional', 'stupid', 'silly' or 'mad'.

* Gift of Sanity: Poor communicators are usually the ones who claim to be 'sane' and 'reasonable' and 'caring'. They always feel put-upon and the victim.

* Biased Perception: Individual perception is usually biased, distorted or contradictory. There is also likely to be lots of exaggeration and anger instead of compromise.

* Straying from the Isssue: They tend to stray from the main issue and find no solutions, throwing all kinds of complaints and insults at their partner, but without aiming for anything constructive.

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* Mind Reading: They tend to ‘mind read’ and/or ‘psychoanalyse’ their partner excessively, as well as name-call and show contempt by mocking, rolling their eyes, being insulting, counter-attacking and interrupting constantly.

* Holding Out: There is a determination by poor communicators not to ‘give in’, only to show they are right, with lots of anger, and, eventually, deadly silence.

* Stonewalling: When the attacks get too much, or when they hear something they do not like, there is likely to be no response. Instead poor communicators withdraw from the situation in a self-righteous way(stonewalling), preventing any kind of discussion or resolution.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah - http://www.myspace.com/elaineone and http://www.elainesihera.co.uk/) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk/ as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"
WANT TO COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE?
These books will show you how:
“20 Communication Tips for Couples: A 30-Minute Guide to Better Relationships”
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“Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict”
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“Why Can’t You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns That Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship?
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THE TOP 10 INTERNET CONS
The Internet has spawned a new industry of ways to steal your money on line. Don’t be a victim.

Here are the top 10 Internet cons, according to the Federal Trade Commission:

Internet Auctions

The Bait: Shop in a "virtual marketplace" that offers a huge selection of products at great deals.
The Catch: After sending their money, consumers say they've received an item that is less valuable than promised, or, worse yet, nothing at all.
The Safety Net: When bidding through an Internet auction, particularly for a valuable item, check out the seller and insist on paying with a credit card or using an escrow service.

Internet Access Services

The Bait: Free money, simply for cashing a check.
The Catch: Consumers say they've been "trapped" into long-term contracts for Internet access or another web service, with big penalties for cancellation or early termination.
The Safety Net: If a check arrives at your home or business, read both sides carefully and look inside the envelope to find the conditions you're agreeing to if you cash the check. Read your phone bill carefully for unexpected or unauthorized charges.

Credit Card Fraud

The Bait: Surf the Internet and view adult images online for free, just for sharing your credit card number to prove you're over 18.
The Catch: Consumers say that fraudulent promoters have used their credit card numbers to run up charges on their cards.
The Safety Net: Share credit card information only when buying from a company you trust. Dispute unauthorized charges on your credit card bill by complaining to the bank that issued the card. Federal law limits your liability to $50 in charges if your card is misused.

International Modem Dialing

The Bait: Get free access to adult material and pornography by downloading a "viewer" or "dialer" computer program.
The Catch: Consumers complained about exorbitant long-distance charges on their phone bill. Through the program, their modem is disconnected, then reconnected to the Internet through an international long-distance number.The Safety Net: Don't download any program to access a so-called "free" service without reading all the disclosures carefully for cost information. Just as important, read your phone bill carefully and challenge any charges you didn't authorize or don't understand.

Web Cramming
The Bait: Get a free custom-designed website for a 30-day trial period, with no obligation to continue.
The Catch: Consumers say they've been charged on their telephone bills or received a separate invoice, even if they never accepted the offer or agreed to continue the service after the trial period.
The Safety Net: Review your telephone bills and challenge any charges you don't recognize.

Multilevel Marketing Plans/ Pyramids
The Bait: Make money through the products and services you sell as well as those sold by the people you recruit into the program.
The Catch: Consumers say that they've bought into plans and programs, but their customers are other distributors, not the general public. Some multi-level marketing programs are actually illegal pyramid schemes. When products or services are sold only to distributors like yourself, there's no way to make money.
The Safety Net: Avoid plans that require you to recruit distributors, buy expensive inventory or commit to a minimum sales volume.

Travel and Vacation

The Bait: Get a luxurious trip with lots of "extras" at a bargain-basement price.
The Catch: Consumers say some companies deliver lower-quality accommodations and services than they've advertised or no trip at all. Others have been hit with hidden charges or additional requirements after they've paid.
The Safety Net: Get references on any travel company you're planning to do business with. Then, get details of the trip in writing, including the cancellation policy, before signing on.

Business Opportunities
The Bait: Be your own boss and earn big bucks.
The Catch: Taken in by promises about potential earnings, many consumers have invested in a "biz op" that turned out to be a "biz flop." There was no evidence to back up the earnings claims.
The Safety Net: Talk to other people who started businesses through the same company, get all the promises in writing, and study the proposed contract carefully before signing. Get an attorney or an accountant to take a look at it, too.

Investments

The Bait: Make an initial investment in a day trading system or service and you'll quickly realize huge returns.
The Catch: Big profits always mean big risk. Consumers have lost money to programs that claim to be able to predict the market with 100 percent accuracy.
The Safety Net: Check out the promoter with state and federal securities and commodities regulators, and talk to other people who invested through the program to find out what level of risk you're assuming.

Health Care Products/Services

The Bait: Items not sold through traditional suppliers are "proven" to cure serious and even fatal health problems.
The Catch: Claims for "miracle" products and treatments convince consumers that their health problems can be cured. But people with serious illnesses who put their hopes in these offers might delay getting the health care they need.
The Safety Net: Consult a health care professional before buying any "cure-all" that claims to treat a wide range of ailments or offers quick cures and easy solutions to serious illnesses.Can you avoid getting caught by a scam artist working the web? Not always. But prudence pays.

General Tips

Be wary of extravagant claims about performance or earnings potential. Get all promises in writing and review them carefully before making a payment or signing a contract.

Read the fine print and all relevant links. Fraudulent promoters sometimes bury the disclosures they're not anxious to share by putting them in teeny-tiny type or in a place where you're unlikely see them.

Look for a privacy policy. If you don't see one - or if you can't understand it - consider taking your business elsewhere.

Be skeptical of any company that doesn't clearly state its name, street address and telephone number. Check it out with the local Better Business Bureau, consumer protection office or state Attorney General.
Think you were victim of a fraud? You can file a complaint with the FTC by calling 1-800-FTC-HELP.

Recommended Reading:
“Don’t Be a Victim! : How to Protect Yourself from Hoaxes, Scams and Frauds”
Click on this link: Fraud 2

“The 200 Best Home Businesses: Easy to Start, Fun to Run, Highly Profitable"
Click on this link: homebiz3

"The Best Home Businesses for the 21st Century"
Click on this Link: homebiz2

"101 Internet Businesses You Can Start from Home"
Click on this link: homebiz1

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PROTECT YOURSELF FROM IDENTITY THEFT
Don’t wait until you’re a victim
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