THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR -- KEY TO ALL SUCCESS
BY BRIAN TRACY

From his book, “Personal Success”

Your success in every area of life will be based largely on the quality and quantity of relationships that you can initiate and develop over time.

The Communication Process

The ancient Greeks taught that all conversation involved three ingredients: Ethos, or the character of the speaker; Pathos, connecting with the emotions; and Logos. The logos discussed by the Greeks refers to the factual content of a message, the words used. It refers to the argument that you present on behalf of your point of view. (However, we know that the facts themselves, although they are important, are not as powerful or as influential as the emotions are.)

The Selling Process

In selling, we know that there are three parts to the process.

These are, first, establishing rapport with the prospective customer, second, identifying the problem or need that the prospective customer has and, third, presenting the solution. These are the ethos, the pathos and the logos of selling to someone.

Build Good Relationships

Your success in every area of life will be based largely on the quality and quantity of relationships that you can initiate and develop over time. In the world of business and sales today, relationships are everything. We often call this the "friendship factor." We have discovered that a person will not do business with you until he or she is convinced that you are his or her friend and are acting in his or her best interest. In other words, you cannot influence someone unless he or she likes you in some way. Of course, it's often possible for you to influence a person if he fears you, but that type of influence lasts only until the person can rearrange his situation and escape from the circumstances that enable you to have control over him.


How to Influence and Persuade Others

The way to influence people, then, is to earn their liking and respect, to appeal to the friendship factor. This requires spending time with him, caring for him and respecting him. The more time that you are willing to spend with the person, the greater will be his tendency to trust you and to feel that you are acting in his best interest. The more obvious it is that you care about the person, about what he really needs, the more likely it is that he will be open to your influence. This is even more important in your personal relationships, with your family and friends. The more that people feel you care about them, the more open they will be to your influence.

Action Exercises

First, slow down when you first meet a person in a business or sales situation. Take some time to build a relationship with him or her before you proceed to business matters.

Second, appeal to the friendship factor that underlies all good business and personal relationships. Ask questions about the person and his or her life and concerns. Listen attentively to the answers. Focus on the relationship first.

For more information on Brian Tracy, visit www.briantracy.com

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GET IN SHAPE AT THE OFFICE WITH ONE MINUTE WORKOUTS

Sitting at a desk all day can add on the pounds and reduce your energy level.

Now you can get into shape at the office in only one minute at a time, thanks to the book "Gotta Minute? The Ultimate Guide of One Minute Workouts for Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime!," by Bonnie Nygard, M.Ed. and Bonnie Hopper, M.Ed.

Here are just a few tips to begin sculpting your new Olympian body at work:

Create ways to do more walking. Make time to walk in the morning, at midday and in the afternoon. Although five minutes would be better, one minute is still good. If you think you can’t spare a minute, or that it might look odd, find some excuses to walk. For example, instead of going to the closest bathroom, use one farther away, perhaps on a different floor. Then you can walk up and down the steps as well.

Instead of discussing something with a co-worker on the phone, walk to their office. If they are of like mind, you can even suggest that you have a walking meeting. The same can be true of your breaks, instead of sitting in a lunch room, take a walking break with a friend.

You can even walk back and forth while talking on the phone. If the cord is too short, buy a longer one. One word of caution: running or jogging in place can damage your joints, so please limit your one-minutes workouts to walking.

There are also a number of great exercises you can do while sitting to tone and stretch your body.

To stretch your pectoral (chest) muscles, simply reach your arms around the back of the chair and expand your chest.

While seated, alternately extend each leg in front of you, which works the quadriceps.

You can work your inner thighs and hips by doing a seated jumping jack motion, that is, lifting your feet in the air, spreading them apart and then back together.

When you have the chance, stand up and do push-ups against your desk or a wall. Be sure to hold your arms shoulder width apart and wear non-slip shoes.

There are lots of other quick and easy ways to keep in shape at home, in the car or at the office in Gotta Minute? The Ultimate Guide of One-Minute Workouts, so walk to your local bookstore and pick one up.

NIBBLE NEGOTIATING

This is part 2 of Roger Dawson's article on using the nibble technique in negotiations. If you missed part 1, please scroll down to read it first.

Look out for people Nibbling on you

There's a point in the negotiation when you are very vulnerable, and that point is when you think the negotiations are all over.I bet you've been the victim of a Nibble at one time or another. You've been selling a car or a truck to someone. You're finally feeling good because you've found the buyer. The pressure and the tension of the negotiations have drained away. He's sitting in your office writing out the check. But just as he's about to sign his name he looks up and says,

"That does include a full tank of gas, doesn't it?"

You're at your most vulnerable point in the negotiations, for these two reasons:
You've just made a sale, and you're feeling good. When you feel good, you tend to give things away that you otherwise wouldn't.

You're thinking, "Oh, no. I thought we had resolved everything. I don't want to take a chance on going back to the beginning and re-negotiating the whole thing. If I do that, I might lose the entire sale. Perhaps I'm better off just giving in on this little point."

So, you're at your most vulnerable just after the other person has made the decision to go ahead. Look out for people Nibbling on you. Making a huge sale has excited you so much that you can't wait to call your sales manager and tell her what you've done. The buyer tells you that he needs to call purchasing and get a purchase order number for you. While he's on the telephone, he puts his hand over the mouthpiece and says, "By the way, you can give us 60 days on this, can't you? All of your competitors will." Look out for people Nibbling on you. Because you've just made a big sale, and you're afraid to reopen the negotiations for fear of losing it, you'll have to fight to avoid the tendency to make the concession.

Countering the Nibble when the other person does it to you.The Counter Gambit to the Nibble is to gently make the other person feel-cheap. You have to be very careful about the way you do this because obviously you're at a sensitive point in the negotiation. You smile sweetly and say: "Oh, come on, you negotiated a fantastic price with me. Don't make us wait for our money, too. Fair enough?" So, that's the Counter Gambit to the Nibble when it's used against you. Be sure that you do it with a big grin on your face, so that they don't take it too seriously.

So, consider these points when you go into negotiations:

Are there some elements that you are better off to bring up as a Nibble, after you have reached initial agreement?

Do you have a plan to make a second effort on anything to which you can't get them to agree the first time around?

Are you prepared for the possibility of them Nibbling on you at the last moment?

So, Power Negotiators always take into account the possibility of being able to Nibble. Timing is very critical-catching the other parties when the tension is off and they're feeling good because they think the negotiations are all over. On the other hand, looking out for the other side Nibbling on you at the last moment, when you're feeling good. At that point, you're the most vulnerable and liable to make a concession that half an hour later you'll be thinking-why on Earth did I do that? I didn't have to do that. We'd agreed on everything already.

Key points to remember:
With a well-timed Nibble, you can get things at the end of a negotiation that you couldn't have gotten the other side to agree to earlier.

It works because the other person's mind reverses itself after it has made a decision. He may have been fighting the thought of buying from you at the start of the negotiation. After he has made a decision to buy from you, however, you can Nibble for a bigger order, upgraded product, or additional services.
Being willing to make that additional effort is what separates great salespeople from merely good salespeople.

Stop the other person from Nibbling on you by showing her in writing the cost of any additional features, services, or extended terms, and by not revealing that you have the authority to make any concessions.

When the other person Nibbles on you, respond by making him feel cheap, in a good-natured way.

Avoid post-negotiation Nibbling by addressing and tying up all the details and using Gambits that cause them to feel that they won.

This article is excerpted in part from Roger Dawson's new book-Secrets of Power Negotiating, published by Career Press and on sale in bookstores everywhere for $24.99.